I am a 28 year old ADHD Jersey girl who loves politics, movies, music, popular culture, and being Catholic. I'm just here to share about life. Filed under: Uncategorized
As seen on Landmark Report.
I remember the words my mother told me when I was young: “Rachel, the reason bullies pick on others is to makes themselves feel better.” She was right, that’s exactly why bullies pick on others.
I was in third grade when she shared these words of wisdom with me. And I was in third grade when I shared those words of wisdom with my bullies. Somehow I thought that making the bullies think about their actions would stop them from picking on me; I was wrong.
At barely five feet tall today, one can imagine how small I was as an 8-year old. We had just moved from Texas to Chicago and I knew nobody. I was a perfect target. Small, new, no allies…what more could a bully ask for?
The latest bullying story to make headlines deals with two 14-year old girls, Haylee Fentress and Paige Moravetz, from Minnesota who made and followed through on suicide pact after being tormented at school. Before that, we saw the frustration of 16-year old Casey Heynes from Australia who body slammed a smaller boy who had been bullying and hitting him.
The extreme cases are the ones that get media attention, but each extreme case didn’t escalate to such overnight. One instance involves a 13-year old girl who was being bullied at school and on the bus for two years without any kind of intervention. The parents of the girl had pleaded with the school to transfer her, but their pleas went unanswered. This eventually led to a fight on the school bus near the girl’s house that had to be broken up by her parents. She is now being homeschooled.
At the rate things are going, it’s a miracle more of these cases don’t end up sprawled across the evening news leaving towns in shock and viewers in tears.
So where does the blame lie? Who are we to hold accountable? Parents who neglect their children’s cries? Teachers who turn a blind eye? Administrators who brush concerns away?
It is clear that schools and their staff need to be held accountable and many states are working to enhance their anti-bullying legislation to provide for such accountability.
The state of New Jersey passed legislation in November that calls for more action from school officials and teachers. The bill, which calls for immediate reporting of incidents and prompt investigations, comes after the suicide of a Rutgers University student. Tyler Clementi jumped from the George Washington bridge after sexually explicit video emerged of him and another male student (Clementi’s roommate was responsible for setting up the webcam and broadcasting the video. He is currently awaiting trial).
Accountability of school staff may certainly help the bullied. With teachers and administration facing the consequences of inaction, there’s hope that situations will be dealt with appropriately and in a timely manner. Yet I can’t help but feel that there’s more to the issue at hand than that. As a person who was constantly bullied, even into college, I know that the best way to combat a bully is to stand up for yourself. This doesn’t mean I promote physical violence, but taking a stand I do. For one to take a stand against a bully, one has to believe in themselves. The longer a bully has their grasp on you, the easier it is for them to exert power over you.
Perhaps beyond setting up measures to keep bullies at bay, parents and schools should focus on the heart of the matter; building self-esteem and encouraging students’ self-worth. I, for one, can testify to the ease with which bully’s words are believed. It is far easier to believe that you are stupid, fat and ugly, than it is to believe that you are smart and beautiful. With encouragement from the home and school, students could find the strength they need to stand up for themselves and stand up to bullies.
While there will always be incessant bullies looking to fight, to devastate, the truth is that so many situations can be diffused if we just give students the means.
Leave a Comment so far
Leave a comment
